Love and Disagreement

   I once had this meme posted as my profile picture for a while, so now it comes up every year as a reminder. This year as it popped up yet again, I was struck at how accurate and yet inaccurate this picture is. Are there Christians who cause harm to others by using parts of the Bible to condemn others? Absolutely true, I won’t try to deny or defend that. We are all guilty of this and not just to the
LGBTQ community but to everyone. We have spoken words of anger, hate, condemnation, and judgement to almost everyone at some point, even to God. We’ve delightfully called it “love” while we actively tore people apart.
   On the flip side, is it love to overlook something we know will cause pain and heartache? Jesus loved everyone but He never said, “It’s OK, just be who you feel you should be.” He called people who weren’t anything and showed them the someone they could be. His love extended beyond their sin but didn’t let them stay in it. Isn’t that how we are supposed to love? To overlook the situations and lives people are currently in and love them into what they are meant to be?
   Technically the quote in meme is taken out of context; it’s not about how Christians are supposed to love others, but how they are to obey civil governments who don’t follow God. But that is a whole other topic that isn’t important to the point at hand. Can we disagree and still love one another? Of course, but first we have to be in a position where we are willing to communicate with each other. As Christians, we are called to be the ones humble enough to make the first steps forward.
So how are we supposed to love? I figured there should be a few notes on how to love and disagree in this post because we will do both in life. Here are a few things love is as described in 1 Corinthians 13; don’t worry I didn’t break down the whole chapter, just the ones that called to my heart.
   “Love is large and incredibly patient.” Ah, patience! The word still gives me chills at times; frankly, I struggle with being patient with people. A huge part of that is because I am very rarely patient with myself. But if I am to be truly effective to a world where overlooking people is the norm, I must learn to see others and take time to really understand them. We must see people as God does, not as their sin or lifestyle, but as God’s beloved children.
   “Love is gentle and consistently kind to all.” Somewhere we were told if we disagree with one another, we must fight all the time. Just take a look around social media today; bring up almost any subject and someone won’t just dislike it, they will want to rip you apart for liking it! When did we decide that disagreement means hatred and vitriol? We don’t have to agree, but we can be kind and caring.
   “Love does not traffic in shame and disrespect.” We have all made terrible mistakes in life; we don’t want to remember them, but they pop up occasionally or a lot. True love doesn’t let a person stay in that shame. It helps restore them spiritually, mentally, and physically. Love is caring enough about a person, any person, and deciding to overlook any shameful, awful thing they’ve done in order to help bring them back to right standing. It’s saying, “I will not fling your misdeeds back at you ever. I choose to look at who you are becoming instead of who you were.”
   “Love always protects.” Sometimes that protection is being strong enough to help people change. To set a boundary and not give in when friends or society tells us we are wrong. Protection isn’t always letting people do whatever they want and watching their back. A lot of times protection is lovingly saying what they don’t want to hear because you don’t want to see them hurt.  True loving protection means sometimes doing what isn’t popular or socially acceptable because you care more for the person than any ridiculous societal rule.
   “Love never stops loving.” This sounds so simple, almost deceptively so. Love never quits. Even when we try and people push us away. Even when we discuss and people block us, delete us, and won’t speak to us. Even when we attempt to protect and are hated for it. And especially when we simply try and do it all wrong. Get up, dust yourself off, and keep trying. Remember the point isn’t about us, it’s about the ones we are supposed to be loving. When Jesus was on earth, He realized it wasn’t about Him but about those He came to redeem. We are redeemed by His love, now we must go and be His love to the earth.