F Bomb
I like to post about things that I am learning about or gaining a deeper understanding of; this next topic is most definitely one that I want to avoid. Forgiveness-ugh, I still kind of choke on the word! For years it was a word that I scorned as something only weak people did. I prided myself on holding onto grudges, bearing ill will towards those who had hurt me, and trusting very few people. And all the while I couldn't see that the wall I had built to protect me was slowly killing me. When I got saved I thought, " Jesus has forgiven me of my sins. Yay! That's all the forgiveness I need to worry about." I can hear you laughing! Well no I can't but I know that a few of you are doing it. Recently it seems like forgiveness is everywhere I turn! From sermons to my daily Bible readings; I'm thickheaded at times but I'm getting the message. Forgiveness is clearly something I'm still learning about.
To understand forgiveness, I looked up it's definitions. Merriam-Webster states forgive as a verb (so it's an action, not a concept), that means: to cease to feel resentment against (an offender); to give up resentment or a claim of compensation or retaliation. So forgiveness is an action that the offended or hurt take to give up or release the offender. The definition gives a good idea of what forgiveness is but how do we go about doing it? To that end we have to look to the Bible for how true forgiveness can be done. Matthew 22:39 states, "And the second is like in importance: 'You must love your friend in the same way you love yourself.'" Now I realize the word forgive is not in the passage, but think about it more deeply. How can anyone possibly love their friends if they harbor unforgiveness? Not necessary against their friends but maybe against their own selves? Ah! There would be the issue! If I cannot manage to forgive myself how could I possible forgive others? I know who I am, all my deep down things, the ugliness that doesn't come up except when I'm alone; we all have struggles with the "other" person of our personality.
It's lovely to say that when Jesus came into my life He forgave me of all my sins, and it's totally true, He did. Now the question is can we allow Him to help us forgive ourselves so we can in turn forgive others? This last Sunday, my pastor spoke about forgiveness and how it wasn't just to help us feel better but to open us up to the blessing of God. While I was listening, I began to wonder well who wouldn't want that? Oh how self-righteous of me! Later during the prayer portion, I began to feel God gently tugging on things that I didn't want to think about. Things that Jesus was supposed to have forgiven! But they were still there in the recesses of my heart. I could feel God saying, "Give me these, I want them." But still I resisted, I didn't know if I could trust most High God with my ugliness. They were my problems to take care of; at least that's how I thought about it. As I struggled with this, I again heard God, "Give these to Me, trust Me to take care of them. I want to give you beautiful new things but I can't until you let me take all this ugliness. Trust me." Trust Him, what could I say to that? What pathetic type of excuse could possibly come to mind? And I didn't want any to come up; I just decided that my answer would be yes. No matter what the circumstance or cost, it was yes. I realized that if Jesus, who had no sin, could take my blame; be my forgiveness than who was I to decide which ugly things I get to keep hidden away in order to take care of myself?
Wow! So this whole post was going to be about a totally different portion of forgiveness but apparently that didn't happen. Clearly I needed this reminder today and maybe some other people too. Well I leave with one last thought: Trust God. He has proven over and over again that He can be trusted. And if He forgives us, we can, with His help, forgive ourselves.
To understand forgiveness, I looked up it's definitions. Merriam-Webster states forgive as a verb (so it's an action, not a concept), that means: to cease to feel resentment against (an offender); to give up resentment or a claim of compensation or retaliation. So forgiveness is an action that the offended or hurt take to give up or release the offender. The definition gives a good idea of what forgiveness is but how do we go about doing it? To that end we have to look to the Bible for how true forgiveness can be done. Matthew 22:39 states, "And the second is like in importance: 'You must love your friend in the same way you love yourself.'" Now I realize the word forgive is not in the passage, but think about it more deeply. How can anyone possibly love their friends if they harbor unforgiveness? Not necessary against their friends but maybe against their own selves? Ah! There would be the issue! If I cannot manage to forgive myself how could I possible forgive others? I know who I am, all my deep down things, the ugliness that doesn't come up except when I'm alone; we all have struggles with the "other" person of our personality.
It's lovely to say that when Jesus came into my life He forgave me of all my sins, and it's totally true, He did. Now the question is can we allow Him to help us forgive ourselves so we can in turn forgive others? This last Sunday, my pastor spoke about forgiveness and how it wasn't just to help us feel better but to open us up to the blessing of God. While I was listening, I began to wonder well who wouldn't want that? Oh how self-righteous of me! Later during the prayer portion, I began to feel God gently tugging on things that I didn't want to think about. Things that Jesus was supposed to have forgiven! But they were still there in the recesses of my heart. I could feel God saying, "Give me these, I want them." But still I resisted, I didn't know if I could trust most High God with my ugliness. They were my problems to take care of; at least that's how I thought about it. As I struggled with this, I again heard God, "Give these to Me, trust Me to take care of them. I want to give you beautiful new things but I can't until you let me take all this ugliness. Trust me." Trust Him, what could I say to that? What pathetic type of excuse could possibly come to mind? And I didn't want any to come up; I just decided that my answer would be yes. No matter what the circumstance or cost, it was yes. I realized that if Jesus, who had no sin, could take my blame; be my forgiveness than who was I to decide which ugly things I get to keep hidden away in order to take care of myself?
Wow! So this whole post was going to be about a totally different portion of forgiveness but apparently that didn't happen. Clearly I needed this reminder today and maybe some other people too. Well I leave with one last thought: Trust God. He has proven over and over again that He can be trusted. And if He forgives us, we can, with His help, forgive ourselves.
Comments
Post a Comment