Saul to Paul: Powerful Forgiveness

 So now I live with the confidence that there is nothing in the universe with the power to separate us from God’s love. I’m convinced that his love will triumph over death, life’s troubles, fallen angels, or dark rulers in the heavens. There is nothing in our present or future circumstances that can weaken his love. There is no power above us or beneath us—no power that could ever be found in the universe that can distance us from God’s passionate love, which is lavished upon us through our Lord Jesus, the Anointed One!

Romans 8:38-39

If I were to talk about Paul, almost every one would talk about the tremendous work he did for God. Or maybe how he was persecuted for Christ, or his travels, or letters, the list could keep going on. But I wonder what he would think of if he looked back over his life? What was he thinking when he wrote to Timothy,  I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful, 2 Timothy 4:7 (NLT). It might have meant his proclaiming Jesus to the gentiles and I'm sure that it most likely did mean that; he finished the course God gave him. What if it was also his way of proclaiming utter and final victory over the person he once was?  Remember before he was Paul, he was Saul, scourge of Christians.

   Saul was single handedly the biggest threat to early Christianity. He rooted out gatherings of believers and threw everyone he could into prison; gender and age did not matter to him. He hated Christians with a passion that was unparalleled in that time. When Stephen was stoned, the Bible says people laid their coats at the feet of Saul and further on that Saul approved of Stephen's murder. This seems like a pretty sanitized way to describe how the whole scenario played out. Think about it, people didn't run across town, drop off their coats, and run back to the stoning! Saul was there, collecting coats so that blood wouldn't get on them, he saw the brutality taking place. If you've ever seen a mob mentality or riot then you know that people don't just sit back and approve of what's happening with simple head nods and solemn looks. At those moments when blood lust reaches a fever pitch, people scream, yell, say things they never would in any other time. They laugh, mock, and humiliate the person dying. This is who Saul was; Acts 9:1, Meanwhile, Saul was still breathing out murderous threats against the Lord's disciples. He was someone that singularly hated a certain people; he was like me and  many others who learned to love hate. Paul might be someone who is absolutely unknowable to me right now; but Saul and I would understand each other.
   I'm not saying this to glorify Saul; on the contrary, I want us to understand how terrible he was. And yet, God chose him for redemption! Saul was on his was to arrest people in Damascus when bam! he was struck blind in the presence of Jesus. Can you imagine how it must have felt to realize that the people you were persecuting, cheering on their deaths, and hunting throughout the country, were now the ones who you needed help from? After his conversion (at this point I'll call him Paul for clarity) the very people he had been working with began plotting to kill him! So Paul tried to "join the disciples, but they were all afraid of him, not believing he was a disciple," Acts 9:26. They turned him away at first! Not that I blame them. But how hard it must have been realize the depth of harm and pain he had inflicted on his now brothers and sisters.  And yet he was able to write that nothing can separate us from God's love; that there is no condemnation for us who are in Christ. A person who hasn't experienced full forgiveness would not be able to live out these words. 
   Did Paul ever struggle with guilt over his past actions? I doubt I'll ever know for certain in this life. But I do know for certain that he was forgiven by Jesus and accepted by Him. And really isn't that what most of us want? Forgiveness and acceptance; the unconditional love of our Savior. Paul's life became a symbol of what God's forgiveness can change in one life. Imagine if we all lived like Paul and fully accepted God's forgiveness; we would change the world.