Does God drive you?

Exodus 20:3 "You shall have no other gods before me."

   Every time I read or hear this verse I immediately think of the same things most people do. Money, jobs, cars, etc are all things that we do put ahead of God many times; however lately, God has been revealing to me other things that I've put before Him. Things I wouldn't really consider "gods" in my life but that is exactly what they had become.

   What is a god? Merriam-Webster defines god first in the traditional Judeo-Christian sense and then as "a person or thing of supreme value." So a god is whatever drives us. Could money, jobs, and cars all be things that drive us? Sure, but I bet if you look deeper, you'll find hidden, embedded things that drive you; maybe stuff you didn't even realize. I know for me, the things I found that were driving me were the exact opposite of what I wanted; I didn't even realize what I hated was controlling me.

   The first thing God showed me I was focusing on more than Him was my past. In my desperation to drop my shame and guilt, I had begun to focus on how bad I had been and how hard it was for me to forgive myself. I had unknowingly placed the very thing I hated over the God I love! I had given power to the very chains I wanted broken!

   The next thing He began to show me was my fear of not having an escape route. The way I lived life up until recently dictated that I always needed a way to get out or have an escape plan. In work and personal life that option had to be there. It was so bad that if my car keys weren't in my pocket, I would be on the verge of an anxiety attack. Fear and distrust of people and my surroundings became another god.

   Lastly (at least for now) He revealed I had let a mental health diagnosis rule my thoughts. Were my thought patterns right, did my meds still work, would I end up in the hospital again, would my brain dip past the point of no return, would it happen today? These thoughts occupied my brain constantly and paralyzed my thought processes.

   As God began to show me these things, I initially felt terrible guilt; I was trying to get rid of them and in doing so I had actually prioritized them above God! I was utterly and completely focused on my weakness and failures, not on the goodness of God. In prayer, I cried out to God for His help. His simple and yet clear command was "You shall have no other gods before me." He just kept repeating it over and over until I was able to verbally say, "I give You these things, You are God. They are no longer ruling my life." Instantly I realized I had been hearing Him with plugged ears; He wasn't judging me for having placed these things so high, He was commanding them to be subject to His authority! As I acknowledged His Lordship, they had to heed His commands.

   I would love to tell you that immediately they poofed and were gone never to come back again, but that would be a lie. They are however placed under the authority of God. Do memories of my past still attempt to take over my focus? Yes, but now I fight back with Colossians 2:13-14, He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross. The urge to fear for my safety and make sure I have a way to run still grips me at times but Psalm 121:7-8 states, The Lord will keep you from all harm-he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over you coming and going both now and forevermore. And for the days when my brain goes a little wonky, when the dips and curves throw me for a loop, Psalm 139:7-10 promises me; Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will hold me, you right hand will hold me fast.

   As sobering as it was to learn that the very things I dislike are what I was putting above God, the process of having them revealed and stripped away has changed the way I pray. It has brought me closer to Abba God and allowed me to realize that He craves to be our only God. His command to be the only God in our life is not only because of His absolute authority but also because it frees us. It places God exactly where He should be and allows us truly understand His greatness and feel His love. I encourage you to take a look at the things that drive you; you might be shocked at what some of them are.