Changes
Have you ever noticed that when you try to change something there is an almost immediate backlash? It could be appearance, clothing, makeup etc doesn't matter someone says something slight rude or just mean. But when God begins to change our lives, ways of thinking, or anything of that nature; many times our biggest opponents are ourselves. Why is that? What I have been noticing lately with myself is that I'm not afraid to let God make me into someone new so much as I'm afraid to let the old me go.
The biggest reason is, however unhealthy and harmful my mental patterns are; they are familiar. My thought patterns might not be good but I know them. I know (mostly) how they work and where they lead even if I don't know how to stop them. If I let God work them out, what will I become? Even if it's better and healthier than my brain is now, it is still unfamiliar. And what if I find that some of it never changes? The uncertainty of it is probably my biggest fear.
Recently I was totally healed from back pain that I've had for years (follow me here, I have a point); it was instantaneous and not even what I went up for prayer for. But I am glad it's gone! Well a few days afterwards, I was asked to do some floor scrubbing and I immediately almost declined. Because I had a bad back; but wait, I didn't anymore! So I sighed and scrubbed the floor. This leads into my next point; as God changes me, my old excuses begin to be taken away. Just as I couldn't say my back hurts to get out of a not so fun job, neither will my excuses work as God begins to change my mind. With the His changes, I have new responsibilities. Enter again into the scary unknown!
I suppose all this worry is a moot point anyways, when I asked God to come into my life, I set aside my authority for His. As my King, He has rule and reign in my life, heart, and head; therefore I submit willingly (mostly) to the changes He brings about. But I just needed to get the fears out there, they look more silly when written down. This is kind of short today, but it is where my head is.
Total side note: Yesterday while I was struggling with a lot of this stuff, I heard this song for the first time. Now I love Skillet and pride myself on knowing almost every song they have written, so I was shocked that I had never heard this song! It just seems perfect for this post!
The biggest reason is, however unhealthy and harmful my mental patterns are; they are familiar. My thought patterns might not be good but I know them. I know (mostly) how they work and where they lead even if I don't know how to stop them. If I let God work them out, what will I become? Even if it's better and healthier than my brain is now, it is still unfamiliar. And what if I find that some of it never changes? The uncertainty of it is probably my biggest fear.
Recently I was totally healed from back pain that I've had for years (follow me here, I have a point); it was instantaneous and not even what I went up for prayer for. But I am glad it's gone! Well a few days afterwards, I was asked to do some floor scrubbing and I immediately almost declined. Because I had a bad back; but wait, I didn't anymore! So I sighed and scrubbed the floor. This leads into my next point; as God changes me, my old excuses begin to be taken away. Just as I couldn't say my back hurts to get out of a not so fun job, neither will my excuses work as God begins to change my mind. With the His changes, I have new responsibilities. Enter again into the scary unknown!
I suppose all this worry is a moot point anyways, when I asked God to come into my life, I set aside my authority for His. As my King, He has rule and reign in my life, heart, and head; therefore I submit willingly (mostly) to the changes He brings about. But I just needed to get the fears out there, they look more silly when written down. This is kind of short today, but it is where my head is.
Total side note: Yesterday while I was struggling with a lot of this stuff, I heard this song for the first time. Now I love Skillet and pride myself on knowing almost every song they have written, so I was shocked that I had never heard this song! It just seems perfect for this post!
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